1. Flirting on Facebook
No one wants to hear that the two of you had sex that morning—even if you talk about it in the vaguest terms. Flirting on Facebook or Twitter is the kind of thing that other people can’t avoid unless they stop following your posts. That’s a hard position to put someone in, but your internet kissy faces at each other are just the kind of thing that would make someone make that kind of decision. Pictures are okay. Sharing what you did over the weekend is okay. Just don’t make us all a part of your personal, flirty conversations. That’s what private messages are for.
2. Baby Talk
There is a limit to how much society can put up with. Most people draw the line at having to listen to a pair of adults talk like babies. If you and your partner are guilty of talking like a couple of cutsie wootsie toddlers to each other at home, that’s fine. If you think that
it is okay to expose the rest of the world to a constant drip of sugar-coated nonsense, you have forgotten how annoying that can sound. Please save the baby talk for when the two of you talk to each other. Alone.
3. Pitying the Single
You used to be just like your single friends. Have things really changed that much? Since you’ve been together with your new love interest, the rest of your friends have all become tragic cases to you, pitiful and alone. What’s worse, not only is this a topic that you and your partner have shared with each other, you’re trying to solve it, like your single friends are problems to be solved. They can tell that you now think of them as broken people, and guess what? They don’t like it. Your new relationship is great, but that doesn’t mean something like it will fix other people’s lives. Accept your friends for who they are, and they’ll accept the two of you.
4. Sharing Relationship Secrets
The two of you are on a whole other level of intimacy. There are things the two of you do and share with each other that you may have never done with anybody else in the world. It’s not just about what you guys do during sex. Sharing intimate knowledge of your partner’s thoughts and feelings with other people is just wrong. Your friends may be gossip-hungry, but that doesn’t mean you should feed them.
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